theredguitar

Well, a *few* months have passed since I last checked in.  This has included two entire seasons, two university terms, many an essay, new triumphs and mistakes, a goodbye contradicted with a drunken 'I love you', permanent ink on my skin and a particularly interesting medical situation.  Suddenly it's March and second year is fast approaching its final stop.  However, for me, the promise of an extra hour of daylight when we set our clocks forward also brings a promise of an extra sense of excitement for the future; there's something about increased daylight which makes me rush towards making plans for summer rather than fearing the unknown.  From the point when I get on the plane to Canada in August, for my year abroad, I'm entering a completely new life.  I have no idea what I'll be up to next March; I have no idea who will be in my life next March.  What I do know is that the 'winter me', who would have cautioned herself against being excited about summer adventures, huddling up to her familiar home comforts, has shed her skin.  I'm racing into making plans to travel to see my friends at their universities, for them to visit me, for festivals and to properly explore the surroundings of the city I've called my home now for almost two years.  I'm not trying to hide from the fact that summer is fast approaching and summer brings another huge shake-up to my everyday normality.  I'm not trying to hide the fact that I AM EXCITED.

Really hoping this was the last of the snow.

I spent the first day of this extended light, and coincidently the first day it's felt like Spring, catching up with a dear friend. We shared laughs, secrets, concerns. We spoke about music, about boys and about the trials and tribulations of university life.  However, it didn't feel like a venting session.  Instead, it felt like two friends trying to encourage each other to use the new light to get where they want to go.  Suddenly I have a new urge to write another one of these (thanks for the encouragement via disappointment, Josh).  I also want to get back to writing songs again.  My goal of writing a song a week in 2018 has truly been chucked out of the window considering I have written a grand total of one this year.  Despite this classic supposed failure of a New Year's resolution, it hasn't made me give up.  Perhaps if I say it on here, I'll have not only my own discipline beating down on me if I don't increase my productivity, but the words are permanently written on the internet to boost my motivation.

Josh- encourager and human embodiment of sunshine (Instagram: joshualeecl)

This is also the most relaxed I have felt about uni work the entire time I have been in Leeds.  I'm not sure whether it's because I've actually forgotten a large chunk of work I have to do or if I actually have reached a point of self-confidence in my abilities and self-sufficient underlying incentive to do my work.  I don't want to give the sun all the credit but I really do think she's helping a gal out, increasing my will for adventure and motivation to reach my full potential.  Climate change has kept her from me but now she's starting to show, I'm ready to start chasing newness and to leave behind old, cold habits (DO NOT TELL ME THE BEAST FROM THE EAST IS RETURNING BECAUSE I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR IT, OK?).

A picture I took of my beautiful campus last year.

In tandem with this mindset illuminated by a new newness, music has of course been accompanying.  This hasn't just been newly released music but it is music I've discovered a love for this month, a lot of which happens to have been released recently.  For example, George Ezra's new album has been a perfect soundtrack for these first few days of Spring.  In particular, 'Hold My Girl' and 'Pretty Shining People' have offered great walking music.  I really love the imagery of a wishing well being Ezra and "Sam"'s last resort in the first verse of 'Pretty Shining People' and that in this day and age, overthinking can be really toxic.  I have also been really enjoying 'Lottery' by Jade Bird, 'Fireworks' by First Aid Kit, 'Young and Free' by Dermot Kennedy, 'Distant Past' by Everything Everything and 'Time Is Dancing' by Ben Howard.  I find this time of year draws me towards pop music more than Winter.  I first heard 'These Days' by Rudimental (feat. Jess Glynn and Macklemore) in a taxi home at 3am after an exceptionally interesting night and it really hit me.  The nostalgia (classic Sarah) and expression of encapsulating memories really capture how I think I'll look back at the last year of my life, especially that night.  It may not be the most musically credible song or particularly groundbreaking but I think it has provided a good transition into this recent change of mindset.  I have also been obsessing over 'Just Like That' by the Aces.  Again, not groundbreaking but a BOP AND A HALF.

More interesting, sonically inspiring music has been coming through my earbuds/speakers though.  I went to see American singer-songwriter Karl Blau at Brudenell Social Club again, having seen him in August at Green Man, and he really blew me away, as this time he did the gig solo without his band he had with him last time.  His new album, Out Her Space released late last year is weird and I don't even know how to describe it.  All I can say is it is a definite contrast to his previous album, solely a cover album of old country songs.  But, songs like the opening track 'Slow Children' contain far too many layers to expect a single listen and his voice really beckons intrigue.  Other songs like 'Django Jane' by Janelle Monae, an anthem for black feminism highlighting that her power as a black woman won't be stopped and asking for the vagina to have a monologue, 'Something for Your M.I.N.D' by Superorganism breaking boundaries of the sound and structure of modern pop music and 'Motion Sickness' by Phoebe Bridgers increasing my willingness to write with honesty and integrity, have reassured me that change is very exciting and in the time of #MarchForOurLives, change is definitely what society needs.

Karl Blau at Brudenell Social Club, Leeds.

Who knows whether this source of inspiration will continue or run dry but I hope that I don't leave it six months before I write another one of these.  I hold up my imaginary (although I wish it were real) wine glass and say *cheers* to the future, *cheers* to the clocks going forward and *cheers* to the sun's presence finally returning.
Until next time,
Sarah xoxo

If you want to have a gander at all the things I've been listening to in March, click HERE for a link to the Spotify playlist.

(The lyrics in the title are from George Ezra's 'Pretty Shining People' from his album, Staying At Tamara's.)

Two years ago, in September 2015, I began a monthly routine of making a playlist of what I'd been listening to that month.  These are made up of songs which were perhaps released that month, or the month prior, or just songs that I felt had lyrics that put into words the madness going on in my head.  By the end of the month, a playlist of around 30 songs is left in my iTunes library to be revisited or to just be left as a sonic snapshot of what was happening in my life at that particular time.  I've always been rubbish at keeping a diary, especially in the most difficult times, because the idea of pouring out words of brokenness on to a pad of paper seems like a mammoth task when all I want to do is curl up in a ball and try and escape it all.  These playlists, these snapshots, are probably the best way I have documented the reality of the past couple of years.  Sure, I can scroll down my Instagram feed, read the captions and the occasional shady or exceptionally truthful hashtags, but no one wants to broadcast the hardest parts, or most personal parts of life, for their 462 followers to see.  If someone who's not me listened to each one, they may not know the significance of that line in verse 2 of song 5 but to me it may explain exactly how my life was moving on a certain day back in October 2016 or send me straight back to how that particular month felt.  My favourite example of this is my July 2016 edition.  To another's ear, it is just a selection of music by The 1975, Walk The Moon and Tracy Chapman, but to me, it sounds exactly like the feeling of staring out of a train window in Germany, hazy summer nights in foreign places with people I love and that holiday romance that seemed to shape my emotional response to melodies for months after.

I also use lyrics that I've been liking to caption my Instax Mini photos.

Now, I do worry that this is a habit fuels the part of my brain that lives in the past (and that sometimes completely takes over), especially as earlier this year I found myself returning to the playlists I had made in happier times because I wanted to escape the present greyness that filled that actual point in time.  However, one of my favourite things now is being able to look back at the playlists made in those difficult times because I question the selection of music on my screen; I am unable to relate to the sombre or yearning tones and realise how far I've come and how happy I am now.  You may be wondering why I am writing about this if I previously said that no one wants to document the hardest parts of their lives online.  I wanted to use these monthly song collections as a way of discussing the music that I am currently listening to or particular lyrics which were standouts to me and then contextualise them with snippets of my life that I want to share because I'm finally excited about the future again instead of living in memories.  It will probably be more personal than my mostly lighthearted or jokey Instagram captions but won't be as raw as one might find in an actual diary entry.

I have now briefly explained the role music plays in my personal life.  I should also say that I study Music and History, and am about to enter my second year at University, so equally have a professional relationship with music.  I am a singer, a songwriter, I dabble in guitar playing and comping out chords on the keyboard but technically my principal instrument in the Flute, having achieved Grade 8 in 2015 after 10 years of learning.  As someone often with their head in the clouds, I can guarantee you that 90% of the time I'll probably be daydreaming up lyrics or replaying a melody I've had stuck in my mind for hours.

Here I am, an ickle first year, strumming away.

Thank you for reading this far, I hope your eyes find my blog again in the future so I can let you further into the music in my life. Until then, feel free to follow me on Instagram for some self-indulgent photography and Twitter for highly political commentary among other 140-character-long thoughts.

Hope you're well,
Sarah xoxo

(The lyrics in the title are from the song 'Still' by Seinabo Sey.  I hope the reason behind their use is clear to you but this song is also included in my August 2017 playlist which will be explored in the next post.)